


love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints

by bleulily (winterfells)



Series: trc drabbles [4]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, Late Night Drives, Post-Gansey's Death, because I say so, people can kiss now, post-trk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:04:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6728701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfells/pseuds/bleulily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was late at night, perhaps later than what she thought; she didn’t care to check the clock. Everyone at 300 Fox Way was sleeping, everyone except her. She couldn’t bring herself to it, not after all that happened that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints

Blue pressed the buttons and dialed the number that had seeped deep into her heart. 

It was late at night, perhaps later than what she thought; she didn’t care to check the clock. Everyone at 300 Fox Way was sleeping, everyone except her. She couldn’t bring herself to it, not after all that happened that day. 

She waited until she could hear his voice again, the voice she thought she would never hear again until the sudden change of fate. She knew there was a chance he would be sleeping, he had to be exhausted after all that happened in a single day, but he answered after the fifth ring.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” he whispered. The memory of him saying those exact words just a few months before seeping through her mind. Everything was different now, she wasn’t thinking of his upcoming death anymore, it was all part of the past and it would stay in there forever.

Blue hesitated before speaking. “Can you come and pick me up?”

Blue heard Gansey’s breathing from the other end of the line. He was at peace, regardless of the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to sleep either. She imagined him smiling after hearing her words, and hoped to see that little smile of his again. Soon she would, if he accepted her proposal.

“And where would you want to go this time, Jane?”

Blue didn’t allow herself to think before bluntly responding: “to the stars.”

* * *

Blue watched as Gansey drove around the city, his eyes focused on the road, his hands gripping the handle tightly. Neither of them had spoken a word since he arrived to pick her up, there was no need for it. 

 

She let out a sigh, enjoying the calmness of the moment, the strange happiness that came from being in his presence. She shifted a little in her seat trying to find a comfortable position, and she could feel his gaze. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper. She didn’t want to interrupt the comfortable silence around her, but she was curious. What happened that day wasn’t ordinary, and she wanted to know what he felt; she wanted to be able to feel what he was feeling, and in a way, she knew that she did.

“I’m alright,” he responded and gave her a little nod, “Confused perhaps, a bit shocked maybe; but I don’t feel like there’s something missing, not anymore.”

Blue nodded in understanding. She watched him relax after spilling those words, his hands letting go of the obvious tension as he held on the car’s handle. They drove for some minutes, hours maybe, without a certain destination, until Gansey stopped in the middle of a grassy field.

It was a bit chilly, the strong wind of November finally starting to show. Blue’s sweater was enough to cover her, but her legs instantly complained since she had chosen to wear a skirt on that very day instead of comfy jeans; goosebumps spread from her ankles to her thighs as she came out of the camaro.

“Do you want my jacket?” he asked her as he watched her sit in the middle of the field, her back laying against the camaro’s door.

She shook her head. “No, keep it. It’s chilly here and you could catch a cold.”

He sat next to her and gave her a small smile. Regardless of the cold, there was something about the place that made Blue feel at ease, or perhaps it was Gansey’s presence. Yes, he tended to have that effect on her.

She turned to look at the sky, the feeling of being so small compared to the universe washing over her. She loved doing this, she loved admiring the beauty of the stars in open fields; the light they emitted being the only light to have around, the city now so far. She loved the lack of noise, of cars, of people she didn’t necessarily want in her life; she loved being around nature, the sound the wind made when hitting the tress’ leaves, she loves the sound of the grasshoppers, the night owls, the occasional bird searching for a place to spend the night in.

She realised Gansey’s gaze was heavy on her, she felt it burning her skin. She didn’t dare to look back, not yet. They had an entire life ahead now, and not even the morning light had anything to scare her off and rush things.

They sat in silence for a while, both looking at the sky, both glancing at each other every now and then. She realised something had really changed about him, but she couldn’t pin point what it was. She realised though, that the way with which the moon reflected in his eyes, lighting up his skin, his cheekbones, his nose, made him more beautiful than he had been before; or perhaps she was in love, deeply and madly in love.

She thought of the way in which he came into her life. She never would have thought she would fall in love with someone like him, the mere idea of it would have been revolting to Blue a few years back. But here she was, and there were Ronan and Adam, and there was her mother and the Grey Man, and every single person who was ever in love. No one was given the choice, love just happened because it knows no boundaries.

_“Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints,”_ she thought. The lyrics of the Hamilton song resonating in her mind. Oh what a strange thing love was, taking down every single person regardless of who they were and what they had done. But she didn’t regret being in love, and that was perhaps the strangest thing of all.

Gansey returned her gaze, curiosity reflecting in his eyes as well as the beautiful moon, the one that had chosen that very day to look as beautiful as it had ever been.

“Man I kiss you, Jane?” he asked softly, his voice a melody against the silence. 

Blue hadn’t thought about that,about kissing him again. The feeling of his lips against hers, caressing her, tasting her until every last portion of his life left his body still haunted her. She wanted to kiss him so badly, she wanted to fill in the gap of every moment where they could have kissed but didn’t, kissing her until she completely lost her mind. She wanted to feel his hands on her waist, clutching her tightly like he did to the car’s handle; she wanted to feel his mint-scented breath against her mouth, his thumb caressing her cheeks the same way his tongue did with her own.

She wanted to make up for every moment lost.

Blue nodded. “You may.”

He leaned into her, one of his hands quickly moving to her waist, the other to cup her head. She looked into his eyes and found nothing but love and adoration, a reflection of her own. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift away, to get lost in the moment and the feeling of their lips together once again, where they belonged.

She loved kissing him, she loved how the action itself expressed much more than any word ever spoken. She loved how connected to him she was, how in sync. For years she convinced herself that true love didn’t exist, but it was the worst lie she had ever thought of. If true love didn’t exist then what the hell was this?

She placed her arms around his neck and dragged him closer to her and kissed him fiercely. She would find her lips chapped by tomorrow, but she didn’t care. She wanted to make up, for every moment lost, _she needed to_.

They pulled away every now and then, but every time they both felt the need to turn and kiss again, and kiss and kiss until the sun was set. Every single kiss was different, but all of them were charged with an energy neither of them could explain.

They decided to return home and get some rest, answer questions later. They drove back in silence, smiling pleasantly. He held her hand and whispered an _I love you_ as he left her in the door of 300 Fox Way, then he watched him leave, her heart racing at the thought of seeing him again later that day, safe and sound and with the hope of kissing him again without fear.

Perhaps Blue wouldn’t have chosen to fall in love with him, but looking all the way back, looking at their journey, the way with which she had slowly fallen in love with him, she realised she wouldn’t have it any other way. Love was painful, terrifying and heartless at times, but it was also the best feeling a person could ever have.


End file.
